Why We Love Cats – Family Systems Theory

Dr. Murray Bowen created what has come to be known as “Bowen Theory” or Family Systems Theory. Dr. Rabbi Friedman set Bowen’s hypothesis to work for rabbis, ministers, and other strict callings in Generation to Generation and his after-death work Failure of Nerve.

This hypothesis of family conduct depends on a few vital ideas about why individuals carry on as they do in gatherings, not in light of unthinking jobs but rather on how individuals in bunches act inwardly. This hypothesis thinks regarding profound cycles and not in progressive systems or scholarly terms.

This article looks at why the vast majority love felines as a way to make sense of a few of the fundamental thoughts in Murray Bowen’s hypothesis of Family and Societal Systems.

We nonsensically love felines – we who do. The people who disdain felines disdain them nonsensically. Why every one of the feelings about felines? Since they uncover reality with regards to human close to home frameworks by presenting catlike profound way of behaving!

The feline, any feline, brought into the human profound framework, will make the human close to home framework adjust. Not on the grounds that the feline does everything except in light of how the feline is inwardly.

1. Felines Tend to Be Emotionally Self-Differentiated

Self-separation is the objective and high water sign of development for the Bowen Theory. Felines have it.

They know what they like. They know who they like. They know what they endlessly won’t do and decline to be prepared. They profoundly want to win endorsement yet look for daily reassurance (petting) when they need it and from whom they need it.

Most people call this autonomy or separation. It is actually the place of self-separation to which we as a whole yearn. We respect felines for having the option to be reserved and aloof. What we genuinely respect is their capacity to indecently self-separate.

The people who disdain felines no doubt are awkward with other people who will avoid profound commotion in the human framework as well.

2. Felines Do Not Accept Anxiety from Others

At the point when there is “show” between people, felines generally run off or keep out of the fight by murmuring and going into battle off guarded mode until they can get away. Felines will not acknowledge nervousness from others.

They might decide to murmur around you when you are vexed, yet that, we as a whole know, is unadulterated occurrence. Felines deal with their own profound trouble. They don’t request help. They battle their own battles and never try to select the “group” or “crowd” impact as people do.

3. Felines Have Learned a Perfect Balance Between Closeness and Distance

Felines never become so joined that they can’t manage without you yet never so far off they don’t search for many you have been gone some time.

They have tracked down the ideal harmony between distance and closeness that people seldom find. Most people become so near one another they meld either by adoring or battling. Or on the other hand people distance from one another because of tension hence keeping the combination on a distance level.

Not felines.

On the off chance that you are gone every year or an hour it has no effect. They will respond something very similar to your return in unsurprising examples. The more you are gone the less they might respond upon your return.

Most people regard the limits of a feline considerably more than the profound limits of different people!

4. Felines Are Distant however Connected

They won’t ever leave the framework. They do whatever they might feel like doing and afterward, unexpectedly, it appears, they will show up into the close to home framework with murmuring and a craving to be petted in their own specific manner. Attempt to cajole them and you will just get scorn and lack of engagement. Attempt to stop them when they WANT strokes and you should get out a brush.

5. Felines Learn This Behavior From Parents

While cats, they show no self-separation aside from when they will hardheartedly push the half-pint far removed to triumph ultimately the last suck of milk despite the fact that the pipsqueak might be starving to death.

Felines are social creatures like people, yet even the mother is self-separated. She takes care of when she feels like it and shields the litter on the off chance that she is in that frame of mind.

People are entranced by this closeness/distance balance however we respect it as well.

The little cats gain it from their folks. The dad remains out of the way as an occasional defender of the litter and the mother goes to the little ones without asking a thing more from the dad.

In the event that a cat misbehaves, the mother never undermines the little cats with the return or revenge of the dad: she does the smacking herself.

6. Felines May Feel Anxiety During Times of Change however They Handle Their Own – They Do Not Triangle

In Bowen’s hypothesis, people generally triangle. We can’t deal with the normal nerves of life thus we search out somebody to share our tension. The nervousness maker – whether it is what is going on or an individual or a tension – is generally the third individual in the triangle.

Felines don’t do this. They handle their own tension like the senior head of a lion Pride. At the point when the youthful lion challenges the Pride chief the pioneer might set up a stylized battle yet handles the tension. He doesn’t try to impart the nervousness to anybody. He heads out into the distance and watches the Pride continue on without him.

People appreciate this and dread it simultaneously. Somebody who is self-separated is terrifying to the people who are not. The justification for this is on the grounds that people will more often than not be a crowding animal groups, particularly when there is change or upset in the “typical” way tension is dealt with in the framework.

7. Felines Feed on Herds They Never Form Herds

Felines eat from overreacted crowds. They don’t shape crowds. They structure Prides. Indeed, even the name recommends autonomy and positive credits.

At the point when people experience nervousness, they will generally crowd together to oust the tension by going after it or running from it as opposed to managing it.

For example, consider the disagreeable pictures on the TV narratives of lions eating water bison or gazelles. Notice, assuming the crowd abruptly turned on the felines, the felines would lose. Regardless of whether a few, perhaps a modest bunch, of the a great many pounds monsters turned on the felines, the flexible yet powerless against stepping felines would escape in alarm.

Crowds “mindless conformity” and frenzy. They run from uneasiness or carelessly assault each other attempting to find the frenzy making guilty party, yet they seldom assault the genuine hunter which has been following them for quite a long time.

They neglect to see the genuine risk: the feline in the room.

8. Felines Can Switch Prides Based on Their Own Self-Interest

Felines can go from one proprietor to another, Pride to Pride, without loss of self-separation. Part with a feline and it will adjust promptly to the new circumstance since it was not genuinely intertwined with the final remaining one!

People might encounter this as narrow-mindedness with respect to the feline or narcissism. It is talented personal transformation, truth be told. A few felines will leave one family and take on one more with apparently no second thoughts in the event that the new circumstance is to the greatest advantage of the feline. Furthermore, the feline knows.

Childishness and self-separation are not something similar and felines appear to grasp this. Felines are not narrow minded. They share when they choose to share. They show love when they need to and not when they should.

They don’t NEED people. They can chase assuming that they need to. Assuming they truly do decide to chase, they by and large carry the unfortunate monster to their people to enhance the staples the people accumulate from God knows where.

9. Felines Can Act Like Kittens assuming that They Feel Like It

Felines can, magnificently, every now and then unexpectedly behave like a little cat! – – Playing with balls and moving after laser lights moving from a human penlight. Felines can relapse when they feel perky or inquisitive.

This capacity to relapse isn’t personal shortcoming however the eagerness to be genuinely open when they feel like it. There is the key: when they feel like it.

Their unusualness is great to most people. A few people can’t stand felines. They aren’t sufficiently poor. They don’t combine. They are useless tension receptors. An irate human might kick a canine and the canine will cringe. Kick a feline and see what occurs. They won’t share your nervousness.


These are a couple of justifications for why people love felines. They mirror the close to home wellbeing portrayed in Bowen’s Family System Theory and this causes an extraordinary division among people.

Some disdain felines for a similar explanation certain individuals detest self-separated individuals. Like a feline, a self-separated individual can’t be genuinely controlled, doesn’t fall effectively into triangulation, and appears to be relentless and narrow minded to somebody who is asking for an accomplice in nervousness.

A few people can’t stand this.

They need group individuals who will feel frustrated about them, spread the uneasiness, get a frenzy and head going in assault or departure from a concealed and obscure foe.

The miserable truth is that self-separated individuals will generally hang together and watch from a distance the peculiar ways of behaving of the crowds beneath. Genuinely non-self-separated individuals will more often than not hang together as well. They will generally crowd together, serve the nerves of the most fragile individuals from the group, and look for harmony and understanding over anything more.

It would be really smart to recall this: felines gobble up groups; crowds run from felines.

[http://www.pastorwadebutler.com] is an asset for the majority Mind Maps, notes, remarks and sound documents on the Bowen Theory and Pastoral Interventions during Pastoral Interims.

http://www.thebowencenter.org/hypothesis/eight-ideas/is a phenomenal asset for the contemplations on Family Systems Theory made by Murray Bowen and extended for Church experts by Rabbi Edwin Friedman.

Rabbi Friedman’s post mortem book “Disappointment of Nerve” makes sense of these ideas of Bowen along with his own in a brilliant way.

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